Quality banter, filling the emptiness of your rest days, and motivating you to go even harder and faster when out riding!
“Let’s ride to Adelaide!”
“Anyone got a 4-person tandem for sale?”
We have developed an inexplicable love for going fast on tiny little skinny tyres. We also spend all day looking at the bums of the riders in front of us!
“Hey man, your bike is dope!”
“Yeah I know dude, got it yesterday. Super aero, super light, and look at that paint job!”
“No I mean I can see the battery hanging out! This is mechanical doping!”
How many clicks should you have on your rebound? We don’t care if your Oakleys are outside or inside the straps, or if your socks are too long. We just want to have some fun!
MTBer to a normal person “My dualie is so slack, it’s got like 140 at the front and 130 at the back, tread is amazing too. Eggbeater is nice and light, but wanna switch to the mallet. I case it all the time. Gotta work on my pump, maybe a dropper would help?”
Normal person “Mmmmmmmmmkaaaay.”
Our lives have been evolved around circles. We are the NASCARs of cycling. There’s only one thing we want to do, and that is to turn left. Also, what are brakes?
As the editor has absolutely no idea about track cycling whatsoever, he can’t think of anything funny to say.